Disengagement is necessary in situations where circumstances and emotions are heading toward a "ballistic situation". A ballistic episode is where emotions/tempers are out of control and where irreparable damage can occur to the relationship. It is important that you know and recognize defensive behavior, in yourself and from your significant other. It is important that you avoid being defensive and that you engineer the conversation so that your significant other has no reason to be defensive.
Powerful people set the mood, weak people reflect the mood.
The best, and usually only, means to effectively resolve an issue, is to maintain cool and calm control. Sometimes you will need a "time out" to regain control of your emotions and prepare your diplomatic and eloquent questions to bring your significant other to a mutually agreeable conclusion of the issue under discussion.
This form is used to proactively prepare for just a situation; where a strategic, diplomatic and eloquent retreat is necessary.
Enter here what you believe the issue is and how you feel about it.
Enter here how you believe your Significant Other feels about this issue.
Enter here the signs that this conversation may be heading for a ballistic episode and we need to "give it a rest", take a "time out" until we can both be better balanced, calm and understanding.
What do you want your significant other to feel as a result of this conversation and your desire to disengage until you or he/she can regain balance and calm control.
What do you want your significant other to do as a result of this conversation and your desire to have a "time out" until you both can regain balance and calm control.
How do you want your significant other to prioritize this "time out" and rescheduling of the conversation.
What do you want your significant other to learn from this conversation and your "time out" request.
There are four power tools for establishing and maintaining rapport; humor, the compelling story, sharing a secret and sharing a common experience. Research a compelling story about how allowing a ballistic episode to occur can permanently damage a relationship and how taking a strategic "time out" can save and even enhance the relationship. In this dialogue box, key in your compelling story.
Research funny stories and find a story that is appropriate for your discussion and taking a time out. Enter your story into this dialogue box for reference during your discussion should you need to take a "time out".
Sharing a secret with your significant other should bring you closer together. Sharing a secret about taking a "time out" will be even more powerful. If you can think of a secret you can share with him/her, record it here for reference during your discussion.
The common experience is also a powerful rapport building and maintaince tool. If you can think of an experience you and your significant other have shared, key it in here and use it, if necessary, to bring your significant other to the conclusion that a "time out" would be mutually beneficial.
Never suspend a conversation about any issue with your significant other until after you have reassured him/her that the conversation will be continued within a reasonable time. Enter your reassurance statement here. If you should need help with this field, please schedule a call with your CeI coach.
Below you will enter, before the discussion, when you can resume the conversation. Prepare a diplomatic, eloquent, warm and soft statement to be used when you "suggest" a date and time to resume the conversation.
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Always END WITH A FRIEND. Enter a statement here where, again, you reassure and demonstrate that your relationship is very important and that his or her feelings are important and that the issue will be resolved.